Unexpected

Well I was super excited starting this week at 15 weeks pregnant, looking forward to all my doctor's visits and upcoming ultrasounds. On Monday my doctor couldn't find a heartbeat at the office, wasn't too worried about it but sent me for an ultrasound anyway to make sure everything was okay. I wasn't worried about it at all, I thought that happens sometimes with the little Doppler that they use, the baby hides or something. Anyway at the ultrasound, luckily Sean was able to leave work for a bit and come and join me because I ended up needing him. On the U/S they couldn't find a heartbeat and the baby looked small for 15 weeks gestation. I have had a feeling lately that something was wrong, I didn't feel like I was growing the way I should be at this point. I couldn't quite remember at what point my belly really grew when I was pregnant with Taylor but this just didn't seem right. My suspicions were correct when my Doctor called me yesterday afternoon and confirmed that the baby was no longer alive. It's sad when your future has included a new child and all of a sudden it changes, just like that! I'm not sure how I feel about it quite yet, I question the Lord's intentions, I can't help it, I think it's a human response. It's easy to think that something was wrong and it's the bodies way of getting rid of it...but it's hard not to feel guilty in some way. I'm glad I have Sean to go through this with and have someone by my side with the same feelings as me and who can sympathize with me.

Tomorrow I have my D&C scheduled which I'm a tad bit nervous for but I'm sure everything will go as planned. It's also Drew's birthday party tomorrow night so Sean will probably take care of that and continue the party at ChuckECheese. We're headed off to Toronto this weekend for some much needed down time and also to check out the Toronto Home Show. We have plans to develop our basement this year and so it's always fun to check out some cool ideas.

I don't have many pics of the kids, I tried to take some this week but my skills are just not like yours Heath, nor are my kids as cooperative! Anyway, try to enjoy! These two pics are at church on Sunday when we were taking pictures of the kids in baptismal clothes for a collage we're doing. They're supposed to be pointing at the Savior.